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Santa Silvia

that my family was strange and for some reason my mother had decided not to get together to celebrate the feast day to all other Italian Silvia (November 3), but today, one day near Christmas, when nobody remembers it except my family, I had always enjoyed. I had never made a specific investigation on the two holy (maybe 'cause did not exist then google), I was never interested me most' much. Today out of curiosity 'I did a little research and the result has left me a bit' off-limits, I think next year I will level 'with the rest of the world to celebrate in November ...

Just to give you an idea ...

November 3: Saint Silvia was the mother of St. Gregory the Great, Pope, who undertook a significant reform of the Church and that he gave his famous name to "Gregorian chant" in the Christian liturgy. But most exemplary figure of Silvia, the provident and benevolent mother, who was able to reconcile the demands of leading a family, represented by Senator Gordian, with the desire for spiritual perfection, is the two-to cognate. While without precise information on behalf of Silvia His holiness shines brightly through the holiness of the child. On him, in fact, the example and teaching of the mother must have had a weight that can not be ignored. After her husband's death she retired to a solitary life in a small house on the Aventine, which was reached by the child, engaged in works of charity, fresh food for distribution to the needy.

December 15: The body of the martyr is preserved in the church of San Giovanni Evangelista in Brescia. This Santa was probably a nun, perhaps of oriental origin. The Greek martyrologies remember how this sister of Rufinus, prefect of the East, was with her power of building in the city of Constantinople, where he lived. What-the Cuno said the girl more learned of his age, and more zealous in defending, with the great men of his time, the orthodox doctrine against the snares of heresy.

So why 'the hell my mother has chosen to December ... okay, I am flattered by the fact that a woman is defined as learned and always in defense of his ideals against the "great men" of his time, but cabbage ... Virgin and martyr? It seems to me more than 'a curse rather than attempt to nonconformity ...

ps I just asked for clarification on the choice to my mother pointed out to me that the saint of November 3 and not just 'widow, but also recommended. In practice and according to her 'was made holy only because' I had a son plans to "high". At this point I really do not know what to choose ...

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An old movie and a new interpretation

I could not resist, now I bought the DVD that came with expressively and me are reviewed immediately. A rather controversial film, Nicolas Cage won an Oscar and the criticism often despise the film saying it is close to pornographic, and 'too slow or criticizing the use of grainy shots. If you read the story on the DVD at the end says: "In the frame of a Las Vegas opulent and decadent lives of two outcasts come together to share the only thing they have in common: the solitude," but as far I fully share this sentence, reviewing the film I noticed different shades, true shades that I had never understood until now (and it 'also the thirtieth time I see him). Note apart from the jazz song "My One and Only Love", which I believe was originally sung by Luis Armstrong and played by John Coltrane, but here 'sung by Sting and is well worth listening to.
However, enclosed in brackets, and return to the movie, ok, Both are outcasts of society ', he decided to commit suicide, an alcoholic and she was a prostitute, but we are sure that they actually accept for what they are? I think not. She accepts him, help him in his suicide, I would say that almost does support what he is doing, take the alcoholic 'as is', without question and without intervention. And he? He accepts it really? I think not, indeed, on many occasions, the wounds on his work and as revenge for his absence one night betrays her, certainly not asking to change, but even this in a selfish sense, the only thing on your mind and ' his death and to have an "Angel", as he puts it, close. It could be argued that she uses, like so 'long for the next person who is satisfied, but in any case, although in a latent or unconscious attempt to save him, not be found wanting, at the risk of being subjected to further humiliation. Yes, I believe that this understanding is a bit 'part, but if you look good on film no one will' never say that the relationship between the two and 'fully equal, that there is no' selfish part in the pair are together by loneliness and exclusion, but divided by selfishness. Obviously, she (as a woman and that 'more and more' strong) survives everything, the film says nothing in the end, does not say that the road will follow 'the woman, but he will understand that' different, otherwise tutta la storia dell’analisi di lei come voce di fondo durante il film non avrebbe senso.

Ben Sanderson : I don't know if my wife left me because of my drinking or I started drinking 'cause my wife left me

Sera : Don't you like me, Ben?
Ben Sanderson : Sera... what you don't understand is - no, see, no. You can never, never ask me to stop drinking. Do you understand?
Sera : I do. I really do.

Ben Sanderson : We both know that I'm a drunk. And I know you are a hooker. I hope you understand that I am a person who is totally at ease with that. Which is not to say that I'm indifferent or I don't care, I do. It simple means that I trust and accept your judgment.

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new trees ...

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By This River (Brian Eno)

Here we are
Stuck by this river,
You and I
Underneath a sky that's ever falling down, down, down
Ever falling down.

Through the day As if on

an ocean Waiting here, Always failing to remember why
We Came, Cameo, Cameo:
I wonder why we came.


You talk to me As if from a distance
And I reply With impressions
Chosen from Another Time, time, time,
From Another Time.

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Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end.

Why 'must always be all complicated? Sara 'the simplicity' scares us to death, we are so 'accustomed to fear, distrust, and play games with roles that are always changing, that when we face something simple we tend to run away in fear? Of course, I'm the first to support the game and some complications (which very often there is only in our minds) put a little 'salt to life, but what happens if you jump down' by train and for once let's just be spontaneous? But if we decide to be spontaneous, who will guarantee that the others are really not just a game or even more 'sophisticated that we have created and from which we can not' exit. E 'then we all have skeletons in the closet that we do not want to admit, then why' they should not have the other?

The reality, 'reality' is that you can 'never be completely honest, there will always be things left unsaid, things are not told. Maybe if riunissimo the minds of friends and family all together succeeded in creating a single person with whom we have always been honest, we know, who knows everything about us, but that 's impossible. Then when you are 'really honest, when we really say anything without violating our intimacy and secret?

Blog Last night we talked about, especially if you can 'be honest by publishing something that could potentially read all and if when we write, we write for ourselves or our words explicitly addressed to someone. Well, I certainly know 'cause I started a blog. First of all I've ever written (I'm testing the many diaries and the like in my room), I find the writing activity 'rather relaxing, and then write pulse, when I have something to reason or think I put myself in front of the keyboard and write a project (and the result can be seen twisted ...). Second, the idea and 'coming to the "French" (and I do not know why'!) In a time when I was open to any 'just to distract me. Third, it was essential for me the need for a public outburst, though now with a cool head, re-reading what I wrote, I do not see this outburst. Of course, in some cases there was a lot of anger, but the truth 'of the outburst and' always been in me, and 'was filtered through words and by instinct, and he and' preserved and also dissolved. First, very often, there 'desire to share thoughts with friends and even distant events, so for something, and' true, 'how to write or say something to a friend (or stranger), and for me, who knows me well knows that there are a great parlatrice ... I'm pretty short and tight, but I can tell a lot better and follow my thoughts as I write. But mostly, 'I have to admit that it is not' purely fact sharing, and 'much more' easy to write and talk about things when you are 'on their own, without the look of the listener, and perhaps' more' sincere, perhaps the filters go down ... even if they do not disappear. So I'd say I write more 'than anything else to me, in the process of continuous self-analysis that has so far yielded very good results. And maybe so 'who knows me even slightly, you may' know a little something extra ', instead of relying on false judgments of people. And

and 'This is another thing I want to talk. Today I reread old things, especially re-reading speech on the views that people have always had on me and to my amazement I saw that never changed so 'much. But the thing that made me more 'smile and' think that those views were not shared, not as I felt my time does not feel and I share now. There 's always been the person who exchanged my smile in the midst of the people as a symptom of a fundamentally happy and cheerful person, but very often and when 'the result of social education for which the hidden and sometimes' necessary. There 's always been those who saw me as the doll, sweet and polite, to be kept as an ornament (this' beautiful ...), but the most' fun 'that there' s always been those who have seen and heard I like the str ... exploitative (especially boys) who tramples on the feelings of all to his liking. I say this is 'the most' beautiful 'cause imagine how it would have been much more' lively and fun and easy my life if it were really well '... Wow sometimes I'd really be. However, I always hope that a person to read what 'can form an opinion that I write a little' more 'close to reality', though perhaps the reality 'does not exist ...

conclude with a poem by Guido Gozzi and' was a little 'me in adolescence and a line from an old story that surprised me reread.

... I do not like the roses that I took. I do not like the roses that could be and were not.

My heart was now the only sound in the room, so I think that he too had noticed it.

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A quote from the past ... Here again

Continuo to look at the mistakes of my past, hoping not recur in the future. Hoping that I have changed or at least he has learned. But people, even though they become more 'aware of their actions, do not change and then it' s useless to pretend to be with yourself and what you do not '.

D: K. You know they say the shooting stars? ... that do not look with your friends.
K: Well, certainly not to relate to us ...

Any other pearl of wisdom, again from the same source ... cabbage as you can 'be so' naive eighteen years ... and as we are sometimes more!

"Fifteen minutes of fun, a lifetime of regret."
"I can not just kiss a guy I've Had a major crush on my whole life and pretend it Does not Mean Anything. "
" Either I'm going to be number one in your life or I'm not going to be in your life. "

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Here again, thirty less than five inches of snow and temperature, I do not remember, last winter was elsewhere. I will not go near my house, are not yet ready for the effect, whatever it may be. Maybe I'll make a tour of the markets I hated Christmas so much, but now they are tourists and everything will be 'different. It' s funny how you attach even to a city 'you always hated, and' strange how all the memories once covered all of the shadows of the past become blurred, procure all on a positive note, there ' melancholy, but not pain, beauty, joy, but not cold, but not alone.
Yesterday someone I know recently told me something profoundly true, as if I knew all along: "You are fit and you easily get used to situations, and it 'strange because it' so, and 'always been so. The strange thing? ... Well this time I'm homesick. Three years and never experienced this feeling Trento. Let me clarify: not that I did not homesick, but this time the feeling and 'different, it takes your stomach ... and is' open Pandora's box.

emotions contained in Pandora's box. It 's right, said to be an anxious person who has taken so long to learn to resize and control their emotions, now I do not know what is best. Definitely work on the most effective and 'know how to manage emotions. Lately, I have to admit that I felt very proud (and I mean recently as last year). I managed to control the stress from work, I was able to speak at a conference of more 'important in my field with just a bit of anxiety (is a bit' was still there) and without my usual hyper-preparation and I achieved good results without being under pressure. The downside
... I think losing the negative emotions in a way has also blocked the positive. I can not describe the feeling, but who has never used drugs maybe I can ' understand (not that I do use it only when I fly), you realize rationally about what happens, you know that maybe in that situation would feel joy or fear, but you feel nothing, nothing makes you 'fear, no stress you Nothing makes you happy. So they seek joy in the extreme, but even that works. So then what is' the price you must pay in order to have a good life? It's not 'perhaps better at this point open the Pandora's box, pull out everything, for better or for worse? I must admit that I have not opened the jar I do not think I could ever do it in a rational way, but someone did that, probably without realizing it, most likely without knowing the possible consequences. It gave me a state of serenity, but not 'lack of emotion, and indeed' the set of all ... the flip side, today I made a little speech at a workshop, a dozen people in all, five minutes in total ... but I was nervous.

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Guilt endemic

As always, most of my post was created after a few pleasant and interesting conversation with someone, and once again, and 'was so'. Sometimes we find friends or "acquaintances", according to the opinions or cases, so we deal with 'almost good to review a part of ourselves in the soul of the other. Cosi ', this time, I want to talk about guilt, but not guilt born (or sometimes should be, but it does not ') to the result of a wrong action, but that sense of guilt, that feeling of almost owe it to the next, which in some cases, some people carry with them since birth, almost as if the original sin had always been present on our consciences.

Now I have un'iperansiosa temperamentally, and this' something that unfortunately is inevitably passed on throughout the femmilile branch of the family, although I must say that in recent years I have learned to manage anxiety and stress in a rather efficient. And 'as if I had learned to be careless and indifferent as a method of self-protection. When your anxiety begins to destroy you from within to create you damage physical and ulcers, and 'as if there's a self protection mechanism that, in order to save, it makes you' become something you're not Defatted and despise the other.

Anyway, I too am suffering from guilt endemic, very often I do things that I would not do or do not have time to do just to try to calm him for a while '. I am reminded of this thing right now 'cause I agreed to do the work of another person (my boss, and more' agreed that I would almost say that I volunteered), although this sense of calm. Only this time my sense of guilt arose from the fact that in recent months I have done some work. Now go well, you could simply say that if I work just the only person to lose I really am, but the reality 'of events and' I do not feel guilty to myself, but for others. It 's like if I thought that my ineptitude could ultimately bring down the confidence that my colleagues at me ... and this makes me sick.

wave of self-analysis I could almost say that one of my earliest memories of childhood and 'linked to the same guilt. I was small, very small and as usual I was arguing with my mother. I have always been rather busy and unbearable and my mother and 'a holy woman of infinite patience and forgiveness. In any case when she was young and I child, she suffered from fainting spells (me of course that I could not understand at the time), and I just remember that during a of our usual fights she fainted ... For me it was as if she died, I was alone in the house and did not know what to do, I started crying and yelling that if he came back to life I would not have been more 'bad and naughty ... guilt for having killed my mother had literally shocked ...

A sociological theory uses the term "self-directed" to indicate the guilt that arises from the difference between an ideal image of themselves and the image that is perceived in practice. The sense of guilt that would arise from "not being up" and gain a foothold in a highly self-critical personality. Well yes, actually 'highly self-critical and always have been.

seems that guilt around the world come together to make the guilty person or (what does it mean the same thing) he has become guilty, feel guilty of the sin of the world.

S. Kierkegaard

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I can also call Grimilde ... but today there is' the sun!

Have you ever noticed what it 'more' easy to write when you are 'sad and down' morale. I fly a thousand thoughts and they are many and convoluted, pessimism makes us' from blank canvas on which rushes the brush of melancholy and lack of reason. Everyone loves writers tormented and passionate, if there 'a drama, a catastrophic event that changes their lives irrevocably the characters and brings them to self-destruction, the book does not interest us, we get bored. Not only that, but the comedy 'always arises from some failure or shortcoming, or when we realize that our lives could have been written by a playwright ALCOHOL. In other words, happiness 'instill bores us when we read it' cause we do not belong to us.

So this post is boring I have to write to me, 'cause you do not have a complete picture of something if you do not look at it from every side, not to describe every aspect. Well yes, 'if I had to describe this morning I would definitely be a picture book for children. The sun and 'cold, but warms me, the birds chirping and my mood is' a fable. Uh, my mother, already 'are boring, but it is not' that's the beauty of being extremely moody, you have to spend days of m ... without any reason, then move on to those that are fantastic for the same reason ... that is' no! I'm learning to make room in my life to the people and the early reviews do not stop and not listen to opinions that are not mine. Someone I can 'even call Grimilde, but the only opinion that really matters to me and' the people who gave me the chance to 'let me know, over time, over the years and to which I countered this possibility'. Everything else at this moment I am 'just die laughing because ...' there 'the sun. Ps

About Grimilde, there 'this comment online the fairy tale of Snow White is really worth reading.

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The return of the space cowboy

Free translation ...

Everything and 'good, and brown (ehm. .. the second I do not share too much) I
dinuovo here (not' the past that much!)
With a sunny smile on my face (you yes!)
My friends are on hand (or within reach of MSN)
And all my inhibitions have disappeared without a trace
(well, do not overdo it now!)
'm glad I found
Someone rely on (and you know it well)

That 's the return of the space cowboy Interplanetary good vibe zone
(do not think it's right', cmq)
At the speed of Cheeba (but Cheeba fucking mean?)
You and I are going more 'in depth' (a generic you, of course ...)
Maybe I just have to "get high" (not translate, but it 's obvious ...) To make it


Everything and 'good and green (formerly' share more ') I'm red again
(in name and fact?)
I do not think that rush' (no trip with a view ...: P)
I can see it clearly, so 'high in the sky
A man with psychedelic picture frames (although I miss the sense of this ...)
He' s happy to have found someone to count

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indefinite suspension

Well yes, announcement to the patrons of this blog, and not sporadic, that for a while 'time I will not write more than' nothing. Even more 'a Zen poem, a melancholy song of text or a quote from a movie I love, nothing more'. I will try 'to concentrate all my ambitions as a writer trying to write this blog damn thesis that I can not put down'. I say open-ended 'cause I do not know' when I will be 'able to write again. I started the blog with the intention of not doing the usual adolescent and rather epic tales of life and ideas, but at this time as the Americans would say "my life sucks" and the only ideas in my head are pretty sad confused. I know it could be argued that all my posts are rather confusing and sometimes sad, but there was always a stimulus, sometimes even anger. Now I have a few of stimuli not to say none) and the anger and 'went away, and this time the thoughts I keep them for me at least until I'll be' cleared up a bit 'of things, or until there will be 'something interesting to tell (and I am proud to say that he had a life and a series of rather intense experiences), or until there will be 'a new stimulus to guide me. Yeah, 'cause I just did not work without incentives, everything I've done in my life you can' say they were always driven or motivated by a strong stimulus. Everything else, ie 'that did not stimulate the base, and' was among the things I started and never completed. In recent years I have seen many of my goals and dreams realized, but also many shattered (I have always been a woman of a thousand expectations and fantasies) and now I do not know that dreams and fantasies I have to look for new ones, I have to invent from scratch. Well, I think this is all for now, I hope to return to writing soon, but more 'for me and my three readers, because' what 'will want to' say I'm back up and that should not 'act like Orlando Bloom in "Elisabethtown" I'm ... well ... well ... I'm fine.

I leave you with just one sentence citatami msn by my dear friend Ziro (here are that while he and two in the morning 'to Honolulu to enjoy the sun ...)

who has suffered damage is a dangerous person because
know they can survive

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Devil May Care - DIANA KRALL

No cares for me I'm happy as I can
be
I learn to love and to live Devil may care

No Cares and woes
Whatever comes later goes
That's how I'll take and I'll give
Devil may care

When the day is through, I suffer no regrets
I know that he who frets, loses the night
For only a fool, thinks he can hold back the dawn
He was wise to never tries to revise what's past and gone

Live love today, love come tomorrow or May
Don't even stop for a sigh, it doesn't help if you cry
That's how I live and I'll die
Devil may care

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Rebound, Remake, Everything all over again?

Tutto e’ stato sempre visto dal di fuori, dalla parte delle ragazza fidanzata che vede le sue amiche single, un po’ le invidia e un po’ le compatisce. Not explain why girls can be so bright and pretty 'distressed not to have almost more' want to go out and face the outside world, then fall in love immediately after the first man showing a vague interest in them, the first man who deviates slightly from the plethora of common men. I now ask myself, will be 'very well' stressful to deal with bad men and bad, having re-examined the entire circuit of events, knowledge, relationships, which then promptly end up in a waste of time and energy, that 'we're so' stressed by all this that we decided to just stay home and let go sooner or later the threshold of being in love is lowers the ultimate compromise?

A friend, a couple of days ago, I wrote that he wondered why he always managed to ruin any relationship in which imbattesse and was hopeful that in any case because 'he had the ability' to fall in love every night. Now apart from the fact that he 's lucky because we live in a new town' has the chance 'to meet new people, which in City Caserta' small and rather provincial and 'practically impossible, I think the fact of having the' Infatuation is an easy thing common to mankind. You meet nice people, friendly and attractive (apparently), we hang out for a night, then you raise expectations, but daylight and all 'other, efforts are useless if there is no' true feeling and what we would find immediately and 'intimacy' and security, but that does not get so 'easily. So 'we decided that it was just a flirt and go forward. I believe this is the legacy most 'heavy it leaves you with a lasting love story (but after the term does not count,' always a question of intensity '), remember the intimacy', remember that the safety and comfort gave you a hug, and it 's what rivorresti once, but you can not get unless you deceive yourself and pretend. And then sometimes those people in your life ricapitano that the safety and comfort and the passion you had already 'given, and you in Review, looks familiar words and gestures that you thought I went looking for, but even that does a much'. If the stories will end up there 'was a reason, couples who reunite after many years, we rediscover love and live together happily ever after is only part of the legacy of urban mythology, stories made par to give hope to single unhappy. So not only people with no re-runs already 'busy, but I do not and' can not even with people you know for too long. I've always been in favor of love at first sight, the initial of the moment in which something happens or is lost or forever. But perhaps here lies my mistake and my lack of maturity '? When a remake make sense?

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Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween everyone! We're in the mood for nostalgia? Well, I'd say yes. I know I broke the balls well with this story, but last winter as well as having completely changed my life in many ways, left me with a series of unforgettable memories.
remember the children dressed to go around the city 'have fun and knock on doors looking for candy, the city' becomes a vast playground where running around happy and free. The suburban homes all decorated with lights, garlands and masks as if they were all homes of witches, and their free, happy and just around. Not I think that in Italy no mandate ever so small children around on their own, and yet ', known to place more' dangerous, maybe more 'for mystification that fact, they are free. And 'as if there was a clear separation between good and evil. There are areas in which domestic violence and shootings are on the agenda and places where you leave the door open ... certain that a child should be really fun to live in the world of absolute contradictions and incoherence.

remember the party organized by my office at home in my head ... kids and home! It was this huge villa on the lake. And when I say I mean really on the lake on the lake, in fact on the other side of the house there was a huge wooden balcony, like stilts over the water. Gentlemen, however, a real dream home. I remember that I was offered wine from Trentino, which I refused of course horrified by opting for a local. Of course I know that the Trentino wine would be much more 'good, but that c. ...

then I remember the night spent around the premises of the center, we dressed or disguised. " With us was Tony Manero, a dancer of Charleston, a Jedy, a witch (the one in every self-respecting halloween never fails) and I high school cheerleader. And then, and then after the fact to a friend's house to play indian poker, a game that still did not understand the rules (although I think in reality 'does not even exist), whose sole purpose was to continue to drink to kill completely. And it 'maybe that I'm missing, maybe it was because' I had friends all over 'young, perhaps because' mentality 'and' different, but the evening light-hearted, unpretentious, with friends doing very little tough shit, well I have revived.

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Update edilizio

It 's not yet complete, I need to frame your photos and sort things, but you do' a little update. ps and 'always the same corner of the picture above.